Why do we need to stop saying, it is what it is?

I am going to rant right now. I do not see why we need to stop saying “it is what it is.”

I just read this article:  https://www.cnbc.com/2021/12/26/most-embarrassingly-outdated-words-and-phrases-to-stop-using-right-now-according-to-grammar-experts.html.  The Grammar experts say (among other phrases) we should stop saying, “it is what it is.” I get it, the rest of the article talks of stop using “end-user” and using “bandwidth” to mean having the energy to do something. But “it is what it is” is exactly that. Accept reality as it IS, not as you want it to be. As a Tarot card reader, I do not say that all the time, but I do think it—a lot. Reality is. Period, end of discussion. It is not what you want it to be, it is, well, what it is.

Looking it up on the Internet, a slang dictionary says it is a phrase meaning we just must deal with it, we cannot change what is happening, no matter how frustrating it is. Again, I get it, it makes it sounds like we are helpless and unable to change what we are getting into what we want. People say it over and over (according to this article) very smugly: you are powerless and cannot change anything, so deal with it. Except we are not powerless, we can change what we will do about things. The trouble is when talking about someone else then, yes, it is what it is.

If you ask me about your boyfriend (of 3 months) and I say he really is not ready to commit now, it is what it is. Even if you do think he is the man of your dreams. He just got out of seriously unhealthy relationship and although he is very needy and promising you the world, he is not ready to get married again anytime soon, sorry. You have no power over him. No power to change him. That is what it is. However, you do have power over yourself, and you can walk away. Sure, it hurts. You were sure he was the perfect man. Except he was not perfect. He is still mourning the old relationship. So, now use your power and decide what you want: stay and wait for him to heal (and I cannot predict how long that will take.) Or move on and look for someone that has his good qualities that is not still stuck.

Your life and your happiness are in your power to create. THAT is what it is.

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