Getting over a heartbreak

Healing from the past

I hear often from women who have had their hearts broken in a relationship. I tell them the best way forward is to forgive themselves first. They cannot forgive the partner that hurt them until they forgive themselves for the trouble they saw and chose to ignore because they were in love. Once they do clearly see the signs of trouble that they ignored in the past, they can resolve NOT to ignore that in the future. As I like to say, these signs of trouble become their “Jerk alerts.” Signs that tell them to run the other way from a person who presents them.

Looking forward after you look backward

Once you have looked back at what happened before, you are ready to move forward to new and better possibilities. The Past is engraved in stone, you cannot change it. But you can look forward to a future where you do not make the same mistakes again. Yes, you will make new ones, we all do, but not the same old ones again.

You will get hurt, but you will learn too.

Remember when a baby was learning to walk? They fall down. They cry sometimes. They get up and try again. And again. Because that is how they learn. We learn by being in relationships and being hurt by them. But we learn from the past and keep going. Sometimes we get our hearts broke again. We all do if we put our hearts out there to be loved by someone else. But we will not be fooled the same way twice. And that is the beginning of wisdom.

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