Tag Archives: Marriage

Turn off the soap operas!

I was hoping the Lovers script would cause some discussion, maybe it will next week. I like doing these radio scripts, they make me rethink the cards myself as I riff on them. I think my view of the Lovers is worth discussing.

I really hate the myth of the Soul mate, the perfect person out there for you, and only you. As if you don’t have to work at keeping the relationship going. As if it will always work as YOU want it. What about what the OTHER wants? Maybe he/she wants something else or more or whatever. So many women get caught up in first the boyfriend, then the wedding, then the kids, they forget to deal with the MAN in their lives.

Soap Operas have undermined our reality. We don’t really want that kind of life, I don’t think anyway. But people get bored. So?   If you are bored, do something new, find something else to do. Even find a new lover on the side. Some find that works for them, why not? No I am not advocating cheating, I am advocating non-monogamy. Some seem  to need it. If you trust your spouse, it may work for you. But for heaven sakes, stop thinking that once you find LOVE it is all over and you never have to think or work at it again. It is NOT automatic.

We need to have LIVES again. Lives that take work, take planning and take aspiring to being bigger than they are now. Turn the TV off and LIVE.
I guess that is what the Lovers does to me. I want love in my life too. But it will not complete me. I want sex, sure, but I don’t want to MARRY just for sex. What is the point of that? After a while, the sex palls or you get tired of sex, and you need something ELSE. What is that? It is called Life. If I marry, it is to someone who wants some of the same things I want. A house, perhaps, a person working on big personal goals who needs a bit  of help and a cheering section. A person to work together with, not just someone to love me. I have to love me. If I don’t love me, no amount of love from outside will be enough.

So what is the Lovers? It is two people working to build something. Could be an empire, or just a comfortable place to live. A team effort. To paraphrase an old Army slogan: It’s not an adventure, it is a job too. It is a big adventure, but then so is all life, but it is also a big job. I am applying where I can.